to tune of: 'We Three Kings'

We Three Spivs of Albert Square (Manchester version)

We Three Spivs of Albert Square
Selling braces tuppence a pair
Old men's ????, black shoe laces
All for tuppence a pair.


We Three Kings of Leicester Square
courtesy of Shelagh of  South Yorkshire

We three kings of Leicester Square
Selling women's underwear
No elastic, quite fantastic
Not very safe to wear!!


We three Kings of Leicester Square
courtesy of Chloe Donovan - California, USA

We three kings of Leicester Square
Selling knickers tuppence a pair
They're fantastic, no elastic
Buy your granny a pair

Ooh star of wonder star of light,
Charlie caught his pants a light,
Westward leading through the ceiling,
Guide us to thy traffic light!



We three Kings of Leicester Square
courtesy of Glenn - Seattle, USA

We three kings of Leicester Square
Trying to sell cheap underwear
So fantastic, no elastic
Very unsafe to wear

Oh, star of wonder, star of light,
Someone set my pants alight,
Westward leading through the ceiling,
Guide us to the traffic lights



We the Beatles of Liverpool Are (Liverpool version)

courtesy of Glenn - Seattle, USA

We the Beatles of Liverpool are,
One in a tractor, one in a car,
One on a scooter, beeping his hooter,
Following Ringo Starr

to tune of: 'While Shepherds Watch Their Flocks By Night'

While shepherds washed their socks by night
All seated round the tub,
The angel of the lord came down
And gave them all a scrub

Alternative version:

"A seated in the pub",  for  "All seated round the tub"

to tune of: 'Good King Wenceslas'

Good King Wences- last looked out
Of his bedroom window
When the snow lay round about
Deep and crisp and even.

Brightly shone his nose that night
Though the pain was cruel
Then the poor man came in sight
Riding on a m-u-u-el


alternative version:

Good King Wences- last looked out
Eating bad bananas
Where do think he put the skins?
Down his best pyjamas.

Do You Know Last Night?

Margaret Milad of Geneva, Switzerland


Do you know last night,
At half past eight this morning
A fire broke out in an empty house
And burned all the furniture

It Was Christmas Day In the Workhouse

Margaret Milad of Geneva, Switzerland


It was Christmas Day in the workhouse
The rain was snowing fast,
A barefooted man with clogs on
Stood sitting in the grass


Alternative version:

It Was Cristmas Day In the Workhouse (II)

(Jennifer.Bergstrom of a Canadian Library service)


It was Christmas Day in the workhouse
One September last July
The snow fell thick upon the ground
The sun shone from the sky

And a barefoot boy with clogs on
Stood sitting on the grass
He spied a house just out of sight
Its walls were whitewashed black.


I also found some with the "barefoot boy/girl/man with clogs/shoes on stood sitting on the grass."

I Made Myself a Snowman

(courtesy of peter bates paxos - Kingston Upon Hull, England)


I made myself a snowman as perfect as could be
I thought I'd keep it as a pet and let it sleep with me
I made it some pyjamas and a pillow for its head
Then last night it ran away ...but first it wet the bed

I Never Saw a Purple Cow

 

(courtesy of anon via Google)


I never saw a purple cow,
I never hope to see one.
But I can tell you anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one!

One Fine Day, In the Middle of the Night / Two Dead Men / Boys

One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords, and shot each other.


Alternative version:


Two Dead Boys
(courtesy of Dave)

One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other

One was blind and the other couldn't see
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A paralysed donkey passing by
Kicked the blind man in the eye
Knocked him through a nine inch wall
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all

A deaf policeman heard the noise
And came to arrest the two dead boys
If you don't believe this story’s true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!"

I Went To the Pictures Tomorrow

I Went To the Pictures Tomorrow,

I got a front seat at the back.

A lady gave me an orange,

I ate it , and gave it her back.



Alternative versions:


I Went To the Pictures Tomorrow (II)
(courtesy of Stephen of Stockport, Cheshire, England )


I Went To the Pictures Tomorrow,
I got a front seat at the back.
A lady gave me a plain current bun,
I ate it , and gave it her back.


I Went To the Pictures Tomorrow (III)
(courtesy of Stephen Tavener of London, England )


I went to the pictures tomorrow,
And took a front seat at the back.
I fell from the pit to the gallery,
And broke a front bone in my back.

One Night, Upon a Stair

One Night, Upon a Stair,
I saw a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today,
I do so wish he’d go away.


I'm particularly fond of this one as I remember my Dad reciting it to me when I was very small.

I Went Round a Straight Crooked Corner

I Went Round a Straight Crooked Corner,
I saw a dead donkey die.
I took out my penknife and shot it,
It got up, and spat in my eye.

My brothers were fond of telling this one.



Alternative version:
(courtesy of Stephen Tavener of London, England)

I Went Round a Straight Crooked Corner,
To see a dead donkey die.
I took out my pistol to stab him,
So he landed me one in the eye.

The Elephant is a Pretty Bird

The Elephant is a Pretty Bird,
It swings from bough to bough.
It builds it’s nest in a Rhubarb Tree,
And whistles, like a cow.

A perennial favourite in the family and childhood party piece


Stephen London, England remembers as "... a Peculiar Bird"

Fond Memories from Childhood

A collection of Nonsense Rhymes, initially those recited within my family when I was very young.

In the 1990's I added my own to a webpage and invited contributions from other people; Hence some of my own are accompanied by alternative versions and the latter rhymes are not from my own family memories.

Enjoy, Ged